Cheering thought of the day

'Our civilisation suffers from vital exhaustion.' Michel Houellebecq, Whatever, 1999

Got over myself already

I know. What a moan. Still, sometimes those thoughts need to live somewhere else so they don't rattle around my head. And it has been a crap month in many ways. Saying goodbye to friends, working too hard and too inefficiently, in the cold and gloom of Winter. I'll be glad when the month is over.

So don't fret. I acknowledge the darkness so I can see the light and there's plenty of light indeed.

Reading Alex Ross' phenomenal The Rest is Noise. It's turned me onto some 20th Century music I hadn't considered: Schoenberg, Copland, Mahler. I recommend it highly, although it's a lug of a book.

A snowing day

Gloomy. This quartet of frozen Sundays. The world on the verge of seasons. The soul in an endless Winter.
How can a flicker of green mark such a void? Its hypnotic heart, a taunt, a promise.

Is it my weakness I only hear the dark frequencies, the minor keys, the laments? Hiding away from the shimmering. The world and its furious dance. Yet still surprised by solitude. The recurrent theme, the comforting and abiding surrender.

I wished it away. Was that wrong? To reject what had so embraced me. To reach beyond a realm into the light that filled with wild ideas and aspirations. I willed a change. I tasted it. It frightened me. I diluted it until its bitter drug dragged me back and its withdrawal contaminated the waking dreams.

I feed that darkness, its greed and its demanding mouth, the glimmer of lights that once guided me. The beacon I yearn for flickers and is no more.

Easter Break

Six days off. What am I going to do with myself?

Chris' last day was yesterday. I will miss him.

It was a beautiful sunny day today, until the sky went dark and it rained and haled. We're in for some weather this weekend.

Reading Alex Ross' the Rest is Noise.

And now going to watch movies in my jammies.

Today's horoscope

You are tired of gathering more and more information and today you may just want to give up. Instead of making a significant decision right away, try postponing it until you have all the necessary facts.

Amen.

Paris

No, I haven't been. (And why haven't I? It's been ages.)

The Guardian ran a sweet little audio tour of Belleville, a 'bobo' neighbourhood in Paris.

I'm reading Paris: A secret history by Andrew Hussey.

And tonight I might have a glass of wine.