We used to joke that six weeks was the gay relationship equivalent to the seven-year itch. Well the itch needed scratching and so after 7 weeks of ambivalent dating T. and I ended it last night. Rather definitively. I'm not sure why some feel the need to sever with cruelty when an unambiguous 'this has run its course' would suffice. It was what I was my goal. His was quite different. More of a 'let me give you a good reason to delete my number from your phone' strategy. And it worked.

I wasn't in love with him and was becoming sure I wasn't going to be. I try to pretend it wasn't his age. It was. Or his immaturity. It was. Or a basic lack of mutual interests. It was. We weren't suited, but I liked having someone in my life. Someone with whom one can experience basic intimacy. It had been far too long. It awoke a desire to be with people again. And for all of those things I should be grateful to T. Once I stop hating how it ended. I've never believed that relationships should be judged or remembered solely by their end, and it would be ridiculous to call that a relationship, so I'm hoping that after a good cry and a good pout and maybe a pint of ice cream I will look back on my summer fling with T. and smile.