5 Jan 2005

The roads I DID take

Happy new year.



Hope the holidays were fruitful and happy. And that the suffering of so many give us pause to consider how lucky we are to be alive.



Back to work after two weeks in California.



I drove to San Diego to see Kelly, Michael and little Sophie. She's an angel: curly hair and big brown eyes and a giggle everytime someone laughs. And it's clear she's very loved. Kelly and I had a date at a seaside restaurant while Michael worked. I was a bit nervous as we hadn't seen each other in years, but they fly by as moments when Kelly and I reconnect. She's a very important person in my life, and they're a lovely family. Her mother's dog, however, was the only animal I've ever wanted to kick hard. Yapping little hell dog it was.



Then to Palm Springs to be the only guest in a usually popular gay resort. It was creepily quiet, and my dreams of naked gods sunning themselves by the pool were dashed. I excited myself, instead, by a gorgeous drive through Joshua Tree National Park.



After that, three days in San Francisco seeing friends, shopping, eating more sushi than I should. Robert threw a cocktail party where I drank far too much vodka and vaguely remember how I got home (apologies to anyone I insulted, groped or mimicked.)



In Los Gatos after that, staying with my glamorous mother. Fit from working out and looking fabulous, she put me to shame, but is a glorious hostess. We ate dungeness crab and prime rib and enjoyed each other's company. Got chastised by my gran for living for so far away, but hope my mum knows I live here despite the distance, not because of it.



My father gave me a scanner for Christmas so I spent two days scanning over 400 family photos to preserve on CD and to share with my brother. There are comical photos of big hair, sideburns, bell bottoms and dear memories of what really was a happy childhood. I'll post the best (and worst) of these soon.



More importantly, I realised that I was a gorgeous child, and that somewhere under the fat and wrinkles is good bone structure.



Sadly, my uncle Emanuel passed away on Christmas Day. He was 90. I remember him as a very kind and charming man. Impeccable manners, always smiling. We shared a star sign and our birthdays were always celebrated together. We spent that week helping my aunt with funeral arrangements and I went to the vigil on my last night there. It meant I got to see a lot of my family I don't always see, but it also meant our family lost a very lovely member.



I flew back, arriving in New Year's and spent New Year's Eve in bed, but not before deciding:



To get healthy: use the gym and lose the weight, drink plenty of water, moisturise.



To achieve work / life balance and excel at both.



To organise my life and stop living in clutter and disorder. Organise my finances to start saving for a place to buy.



To publish something this year, and indulge Andy's conviction in my writing abilities.



To take better advantage of living in London.



To figure out how to be ready for and deserving of a relationship.



That's all. Nothing big.





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